Good attitudes result in changes for the better

July 28, 2008 by Adi Alsaid 

Instead of complaining about the state of our lives, we should give complacency a chance

I just observed a man angrily muttering to himself because the car in front of him was not making a right-hand turn in a timely manner. Admittedly, I am not an expert in studying body language. But this man seemed genuinely mad. His hands tensely clutching the steering wheel, his head shaking, his brow furrowed, the muttering. He was pissed.

Human beings are complainers. The grass is never green enough, the cup never half full enough. We stress over traffic, get annoyed by the weather, become irked by telemarketers and hate it when things don’t go our way.

We bitch, we moan, we gripe; we can’t get over how much our lives suck.

What I’m about to state will likely cause some heads to shake: Complacency is underrated.

Human beings need to take the Beatles’ advice and just “let it be.” In my personal experiences, complacency can lead to happiness. And isn’t that what we’re all aiming for?

Granted, there is a difference between letting things go and letting your circumstances defecate all over you. All I’m saying is we could use a little perspective.

You’re a starving Sudanese refugee whose family was murdered? Life has indeed dealt you a bad hand and you have every right to state your grievances. The barista messed up your morning macchiato? Please don’t pout. All is well. Your clothes still fit, your car still has air-conditioning and lunch will come from somewhere.

Whether this is a new development, or something that has always been in our genes, we are an angry species. We never hesitate to remind ourselves and everyone around us how much everything is pissing us off.

Our biggest downfall is that we don’t realize just how much life is in our hands. Outside of illness and death, we are completely in control. If something is truly making you unhappy, you change it. It’s that easy. The decision, that is. Life wouldn’t let us get away without some effort.

Half the things we complain about are so miniscule that if we thought about them rationally and without our characteristic, stubborn belief that we are always right, we would laugh at ourselves for being so ridiculous.

The other half are things that no matter how insurmountable they may seem, we have the power to change. Sure, sacrifices might be made. And “might” is such an optimistic word. But it’s really not that bad.

Can’t pay rent? Find a cozier apartment or a better job. It’s not ideal, but it’s far from hellish.

Feeling completely and utterly alone? Go talk to someone. Yes, it will be hard. But you can wallow in comfortable self-pity, or you can get over yourself and actually try to reach out to someone. It’s not as hard as you would like to believe.

Maybe the trick is to remember we’re all going to die one day. As author Tony Vigorito put it, “What injustice, avarice, laziness or bad mood is conceivable if death is kept in mind?”

Unforeseeable events will come up, your picnic will get ruined, and as long as life goes on, where’s the problem? I don’t expect anyone to be happy all the time and never be bothered by anything.

That would be unrealistic. We are human. We suddenly are overcome with emotion. That’s part of what’s so great about being human. But just like you can ruin your happiness with a few complaints, you can ruin your complaints with a little happiness.