A sports fan’s dream if 2012 is the end

August 30, 2010 by Jamie Evan Bichelman 

A sports utopia awaits if the Maya are correct

If the Maya are correct, 2012 will be our last year on Earth. As the old saying goes, we should live each day like it was our last ever. How fantastic would it be if all of the transactions, promotions, news and performances in the sports world reflected this train of thought?

If 2012 is indeed our last year, then team owners should dish out outrageous contracts just for the fun of it. What if every sport was flooded with contracts similar to the $102 million/17-year one the NHL’s New Jersey Devils offered Ilya Kovalchuk this summer?

There would be no reason for greedy, stingy owners to try to low-ball their players, as money would be worthless once January 2013 rolls around. Marginal, unimportant players would be paid like top-tier athletes, and the gap in salaries in the sporting world would be one step closer to being bridged.

What if the steroid ban was lifted in every sport? As it stands right now, some players are cleverly sneaking around drug tests and reaping the benefits. If steroids became as commonplace as sunflower seeds in an MLB dugout, we would see outrageous statistics and otherworldly performances.

What’s more is that we needn’t be worried about the health repercussions associated with steroids, as 2012 would be our last year anyway. Of course, the purists would say that our ancestors competed without the assistance of these new-age drugs. With the end of the world looming, though, shouldn’t we get the best show possible before
it is too late?

Those lame, cliché bobblehead promotion nights at the ball park would be a thing of the past. Once owners dish out new contracts and say a peaceful, heartfelt goodbye to their money, they will be more inclined to provide better attractions to stadiums.

Fireworks after every game? Check. Miley Cyrus performing at halftime and Drake singing “Take Me Out to the Ball Game?” Sure thing. Free taco and ice cream night? Done and done! I will fill you in on every sports journalist’s secret dream: We would trade places with an athlete in a heartbeat for that one moment where a stadium packed with die-hard fans is screaming our names.

Why not make our dreams a reality? With the recent influx of retired athletes in every sport signing on with ESPN to offer analysis and perform on radio shows, why not pull a switcheroo and have the athletes write about us for a change?

The risk for injury would be minimal. For example, the editor for an Alaskan newspaper running full speed toward the editor of a Florida newspaper is unequivocally different
from Ray Lewis delivering a monster tackle.

While I certainly do not hope for a premature end in 2012, another old saying teaches us to make the best of a bad situation. What better world to get lost in than the sports one?