That’s what a judge on the hit reality TV show Dancing with the Stars had to say about contestant Tom Delay and his fancy footwork. And yes, I am referring to that Tom Delay – the former House majority leader charged with violating campaign finance laws. He left the hall of shame to walk the walk of fame.

What, you might be asking, is Delay even doing on such a show? Good question. Because I never thought disgraced politicians would find their niche in reality TV.

It got me thinking though.

Imagine a rag-tag group of politicians thrown together in a house where big personalities clash and we can sit back and watch the fireworks. It will be like Big Brother, complete with the requisite backstabbing and strategizing to get oneself out on top.

All of them combined could be crazier than Sarah Palin, and we all know that crazy equals high ratings these days. Just imagine.

In addition to giving pointers on suave dance moves and the cha-cha-cha, Tom Delay could give advice on how to circumvent a trial and avoid going to jail if charged with conspiracy for money-laundering. He could also throw out his musings during those “confessional” shots on how President Barack Obama is not a natural-born citizen. And there we have the conspiracy-theorist on the show.

He would be joined by another conspiracy-theorist, disgraced former Governor of Illinois, Rod Blagojevich, who just can’t seem to say enough times that everyone is out to get him for no certain reason. Blago would definitely be one to watch because he just can’t seem to say no to an opportunity to embarrass himself even further.

You know he would just love to be part of such a show, after his failed venture into the murky depths of reality TV stardom as well. “I’m a Celebrity… Get Me Out of Here!” did not come to fruition but it wasn’t due to lack of effort.

Regardless, we can be sure that it has gone to Blago’s head, amplified his ego and narcissism. Why else would he continue on his non-stop media blitz and think that making the rounds at the Daily Show would be good PR?

He was unrelenting as Jon Stewart grilled him, claiming that he is court-ordered from telling the truth and that everything is all an elaborate conspiracy against him. I guess statements like, “I’ve got this thing and its f—ing golden” (in reference to Obama’s vacant Senate seat) were taken out of context, then?

In addition to the crazy and the narcissistic, every reality show needs the emotional, spontaneous guy. You know who I am talking about, the guy who just can’t keep a lid on it anymore.

Enter South Carolina congressman, “You Lie!” Joe Wilson. Who doesn’t love a firebrand?
The aftershock of such an outlandish outburst is sure make the audience uneasy. Although it would be hard topping that: Claiming that the president of the U.S. is a bold-faced liar during a publically televised speech is a hard act to follow.

Why stop with the U.S. though? The United Nations General Assembly convinced me that this show has to go international.

We’ll invite Iranian “president” Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, who is a case study in egotism and self-delusion. Was he expecting that his self-proclaimed “glorious” electoral victory would make us forget the months of protests and bloodshed in Iran and think his win was legitimate?

Newcomer Muammar el-Qaddafi, “leader of the revolution, president of the African Union and king of kings of Africa” (his own introduction) will be the sensationalist showstopper. He sure made up for the decades of isolation from the international community by demonstrating why he was ostracized in the first place. He’s the epitome of the spotlight-grabbing attention-seeker, who might actually sound rational behind cameras but acts like a rambling madman when the lights are on him.

If there is one thing all of these people have been good for, it’s been comic relief.

The economy is still dismal, health care reform seems to be halted indefinitely, we are still engaged in two wars, etc. It’s all so serious.

And then we hear on the news another retort Palin has for her daughter’s former fiancé or for David Letterman, we have Blago still steadfast in his innocence with that ridiculous hair, and it makes me laugh.

They are more poli-tainers than politicians.

I laugh until I realize that these people are the ones in charge of policy. The humor dies a little after that. And it makes me want to start a different reality show… along the lines of “Help! I’m a Politician, Get Me Out of Here!”

Except we don’t get them out.

Filed Under: Opinion
Tagged: politics, reality show, television