FOOLS RUSH IN:
The art of taking things slow

Things that start fast end fast.
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Students get freaky in bed

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FOOLS RUSH IN: She’s just not that into you

They say all good things must come to an end. I say that’s halfway true. All bad things must come to an end, too.

Sometimes the choice to end a relationship is obvious. In those cases, it isn’t always easier, but the choice is clear. Most of the time, it’s a difficult decision to make. There are many factors to consider that always make it a lot more complicated than we want it to be.

Still, you do what you’ve got to do. If you know you want out but don’t know how to handle the situation, there are a few things you should avoid doing.

Don’t lie.
You should never have to lie. If you feel the need to lie, then you shouldn’t be in the relationship to begin with. Trust is essential to any relationship, romantic or otherwise, so if you expect to stay on good terms with your soon-to-be ex, then be honest. And even if you don’t expect to stay friends or even acquaintances, be honest. The truth may hurt, but it can also set you free.

Don’t avoid the issue.
Let’s face it. Most people aren’t stupid. Your mate will likely be able to tell that something is up. There is nothing worse than prolonging the inevitable, so don’t dance around the subject. Keeping it short, sweet and to the point is the safest way to make a clean break.

Don’t drag it out.
This goes hand-in-hand with the previous suggestion. It’s going to be bad. Why make it worse?

Don’t use a corny break up line.
No one wants to hear the dreaded, “It’s not you, it’s me.” Clearly, that is not true. You’re not saving any face by saying it either, so don’t.

Don’t break up through a text message.
Ideally, breaking up in person is the way to go. Text messages, e-mail, through a friend… any other way will only be a slap in the face.

Don’t listen to your friends (completely).
Choosing to be in a relationship with a person should be your decision to make. Not your friends’, family’s or anyone else’s who feels the need to be in your business.
Sure, it’s perfectly OK to use them as a sounding board and to get advice. But that doesn’t mean you have to or should listen.

Don’t disrespect them.
No matter how bitter, resentful or angry you are, no good comes out of being disrespectful. Avoid name-calling, trash-talking and airing out their dirty laundry.
Although it might feel good to lash out in the moment, you will more than likely regret it later. Obviously, this is a lot easier said than done. Just remember that what you say and do reflect back on you.

Don’t give in.
Think it through long and hard and don’t make the decision to give up until you are sure. Once you’ve made up your mind that it’s the right thing to do, don’t back down.
It’s easy to get suckered into staying in a relationship that you know is not making you happy, because you’re comfortable. You don’t want to hurt the one you have cared about or you want to believe that things will change.

Of course it’s hard to do. But you’ve got to look out for your own best interests and sometimes that means being the bad guy. And when it’s all over, appreciate it for what it was, but also for what it wasn’t. Learn from it and most importantly, let go. You won’t be able to – or at least shouldn’t – move on until you do.

When will we understand society’s standards?

Changing roles of men are accepted; women are still stereotyped

The beloved men in our generation have assigned many terms of endearment to women for the past few generations. “Hoe,” “slut,” “whore” and “smut” are some. Charming, aren’t they? Far from it. These nicknames are just as demeaning as they sound.

These words are only a few out of many degrading terms for women who engage in unforgivable acts like cheating, lying, openly discussing their sexuality, being involved with multiple sex partners, having one night stands, wearing short and tight fitting clothing or simply not giving a guy the time of day.

This is one of many of our society’s double standards that many of us know too well.
Promiscuity has been promoted and accepted by men all around the world: from men in some cultures having several wives to men in America being worshiped for being “pimps.”

Why is it that men get to have all the fun and women simply have to sit back and accept it?
Some time ago, men carried the image of being protectors and providers and women were expected to be the nurturers and caretakers.

A lot of men have abandoned their traditional responsibilities in our society, but women are still expected to continue to play the part of the “good girl.” Many women that are open about their sexuality are frowned upon. When women try to prevail over this double standard, women are told to be lady-like and have some class.

But men are not holding up their end of the deal. Why are men’s roles allowed to change? Why do they not have to look back at their previous responsibilities? It only seems right that if men are evolving, women should be allowed to change their traditional images too.

As cliché as it might sound, chivalry is, in fact, dead. Most men do not open doors and pay for dates like they used to. Today, men and women share their bills. Women seem to be adjusting just fine to men not providing for them anymore, so why does it seem so hard to grasp the concept of a woman with other freedoms as well?

Unfortunately, a lot of women give power to these appellations. Women scrutinize each other for having more than one sex partner instead of praising each other like men do. We can only expect men to respect our new identities if women start respecting each other.

Women are more judgmental than most men. Women referring to each other using curse words allows men to use the same words more liberally and more often. As a result, this increases a man’s power to dominate and verbally abuse women.

Women have had equal rights under the law for more than 40 years, but still they are treated like second-class citizens. Women have to dress appropriately lest they be labeled some dirty word. Women are told to act like lady-like when men do not act like gentlemen.

“Whores” are unwanted but pimps are cool. And women cannot even practice their constitutional right to the freedom of speech without being reprimanded for talking about their sex lives.

But guys can walk around boasting about their wild sexual encounters without really being looked down upon. Is this what equal rights and equal opportunity means?
I am not condoning promiscuity but simply stating the obvious: God created man and woman as equals, so it is about time people started acting like it.

Honestly, if the shoe were on the other foot, I would argue that men should have more sexual freedom. Understanding the opposite sex and having the same moral expectations will result in healthier romantic relationships and marriages.

Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re even close to breaking out of this double standard and we’re even farther from understanding why it exists.

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If these vaginas could talk…

Campus and community welcomed V-Day 2009 with open… er… legs as UNLV’s Vagina  Warriors performed “The Vagina Monologues” for an energetic audience Friday night.

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